The Quig Spot

Here's a collection of my latest DVD reviews, the most recent being PERFUME: THE STORY OF A MURDERER, THE ASTRONAUT FARMER, THE LAST MIMZY, and THE MANHATTAN PROJECT (SE)...

You can find the rest of my JoBlo.com reviews at:
joblo.com/reviews_archive.php?mode=joblo_dvds&author=49





And once again, don't forget to check out the rest of my DVD reviews at:
joblo.com/reviews_archive.php?mode=joblo_dvds&author=49

Labels: Reviews

Posted by quigles at 1:29 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

License to Wed
Bad to the point of frustration, the writers of LICENSE TO WED obviously took a course on how to make every character in a film as annoying as humanly possible.

The only person who almost redeems himself is John Krasinksi, but that's down to his credit alone, as the actual character he's stuck with playing is a spineless pathetic loser. Mandy Moore is a good actress, but there's nothing worthwhile about her here. She's a ditzy bore, and the way her character blindly follows everything Williams' asks of the couple is almost obnoxious in its unbelievability. If that weren't enough, the chemistry between the lead characters constantly switches between flat and tense, never once actually showing why the couple make a good match (or why we should care).

As for Robin Williams, I don't even know what to say. If his past acting roles haven't made you dislike the guy's comedy yet, this movie will sure change that. The only person more annoying than him is young Josh Flitter, Williams' boy assistant (quite the bizarre relationship they got going there). This movie delivers excellent evidence for why I ranked Flitter #5 on my list for the Top Ten Most Annoying Kid Actors.

Those looking for some awkwardly hilarious comedy (such as what can be found in "The Office") will be sorely disappointed. Every scenario and gag feels forced to the point of frustration, oftentimes giving you the urge to punch Williams in the face. And before that urge can subside, you'll notice yourself wanting to also punch the other characters too (thanks to the unbelievably poor judgment they exude when forced to respond to Williams asinine tests). Once again, Krasinski almost makes it work... but doesn't.

I'd also discuss the excruciatingly clichéd sentimental bullshit that spews across the screen about two thirds in, but I'm having a hard time doing that while also tying a noose around my neck.

What a lousy fucking movie.

2 out of 10

Labels: Reviews

Posted by quigles at 3:56 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Transformers
An exhausting but extremely entertaining experience, filled with some absolutely breathtaking action sequences and flawless CGI. The plot is at times beyond stupid, but c'mon, it's "Transformers" - what did you expect? Robots beating the shit out of other robots: this is what I paid to see, and I got it!

Shia LaBeouf is the only non-robot related highlight of the film, which is perfectly fine considering how awesome the robots end up being. He adds heart and emotional investment into a film that otherwise would've been completely soulless. Whenever he was on-screen, I found myself interested and immersed in the goings-ons of the basically worthless story. And then when the Autobots finally join up with him, shit just gets twenty times more entertaining.

I can see a lot of people hating the humor and laughable dialogue, but those things rarely bothered me. The only thing that actually bugged me was the excessive amount of actors who really served no purpose in the film, other than to stuff even more useless plot points into the damn thing. Very unnecessary, and sometimes incredibly annoying (Tyrese and Anthony Anderson come to mind).

Something else that I expect others may not be ready for is just how unbelievably geeky/dorky/campy/cheesy the flick is. Think of it as "The Iron Giant" by way of "Small Soldiers". This goofy quality was something I felt added fully to the experience, as it allowed Michael Bay to stay true to the original "Transformers" style. Non-fans, however, may not be as thrilled by the choice.

That aside, the rest of the movie is just a fucking blast for any and all action lovers out there. The final 30 minutes in particular are just mind-blowingly cool, with sensational robot battles abound. Fun fuckin' times!

8 out of 10

Labels: Reviews

Posted by quigles at 2:58 PM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Ratatouille
After the major disappointment of "Cars", Pixar comes back in full form with Brad Bird's latest animated masterpiece. Simply put, the man's a genius.

I had no interest in this film originally (other than it being Pixar, and under Bird's name), so it was quite a surprise to find myself as captivated by it as I was. The characters are handled perfectly, and the slapstick humor is executed in fun and creative ways. The picture even manages to include a number of stunning action sequences, proving once and for all that Bird and his team can take even the most tired elements and do something exciting with them.

The film is also refreshingly deep, featuring a combination of mature adult themes and a wonderfully handled message for the younguns (unlike the usual stock messages that most family-oriented films provide).

Like "The Incredibles" and "The Iron Giant" before it (both directed by Bird), there's a balance struck here that allows people of all ages to appreciate what the film has to offer. The kids will love the silly characters, energetic sequences, and goofy gags, while the older audience members can enjoy those very same elements (since they're handled in a way that's not at all condescending), plus much more. In particular, the writing is sensational, adding a non-stop series of hilarious moments to the mix without sacrificing character development or a strong story.

Brad Bird sure knows how to make a classy picture. This is one for the ages.

9 out of 10

Labels: Reviews

Posted by quigles at 2:56 PM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Live Free or Die Hard
Mother of God, this movie was a non-stop adrenaline rush of action sequence upon action sequence, and I loved every second of it. I doubt the movie could be any more ridiculous (especially with that hilarious hacking bullshit), but for some reason, I was having so much fun that I didn't care.

Bruce Willis is back in top form as the wise-cracking McClane, laughing off the prospect of death whenever it's near (which is a lot). This guy's no longer just a normal dude who's been thrown into a horrible situation. He's a fucking superhero. The final half hour of this film confirms this, with quite possibly the most over-the-top action sequence I've ever witnessed. But really, you'll have decided way before that point if you're willing to simply have fun and "go with" the outrageousness of what's happening. For me, it was an easy choice.

As far as comic relief goes, there's a lot. I mean, McClane himself is sort of comical character. Justin Long is the contrast to Willis' ass-kickin' character, a terrified hacker who stutters a lot and is completely unready for what's coming his way. I know a lot of people see Long as nothing more than "that annoying Mac guy", but I've always liked him. And here, he plays opposite Willis perfectly. Half way through the film though, Kevin Smith pops up as another comic character. It's a little bit overkill, but then again, so is the rest of the film. If you like Smith (which I totally do), it probably won't bother you too much.

Olyphant doesn't exactly have his work cut out for him when it comes to playing the bad guy, seeing as how it's sort of hard to beat Alan Rickman. Still, he does a decent job holding his own; could've been a bit more menacing though. (Still not sure how he's gonna pull off "Hitman".)

For a PG-13, the violence here was insanely hardcore. The only aspect of the film that felt toned down was the language, which led to some moments of horrendous dubbing (I get the feeling there was a lot of cursing they had to take out). Rest assured though, they'll probably have this fixed up for the unrated cut when the flick hits DVD. And I'll definitely be buying it.

7 out of 10

Labels: Reviews

Posted by quigles at 2:49 PM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

People said it sucked,
But I actually liked it,
I must be stupid.

Full review to come soon!

Labels: Reviews

Posted by quigles at 1:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Here are a bunch of quick reviews for: Ocean's Thirteen, Hostel: Part II, Knocked Up, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, and Shrek the Third.

Ocean's 13
What the hell is with the positive reviews for this film?

I loved the first, disliked the second, and was deeply hoping the third would bring back memories of the former instead of the latter...

Instead, I had to endure a tedious, unfunny, meandering, and anticlimactic non-heist film. It was mildly entertaining in spurts (due to the stylish direction and awesome actors), but the whole thing felt so damn pointless.

I call it a "non-heist" film because the characters aren't really doing anything. Everything feels so trivial. Of course, they make the non-heist as complicated as humanly possible, but it's all build-up and no payoff. The first half of the film consists of them basically making sure the asshole casino owner (played rather plainly by Al Pacino) doesn't receive his 5 diamond ranking for the hotel. In other words, they went from knocking over multiple casinos and stealing millions of dollars to making sure a hotel judge has a horrible stay at the casino he's grading. What devious masterminds!

Things do become a bit more interesting later on (the rigging of the dice was amusing), but it feels like the group is trying so hard to pull off this "amazing caper" simply to screw over a guy we don't really care about. The gang seems to be investing an unlimited amount of time, effort, manpower, and money to pull off the supposed impossible, but without ever once having an understandable reason to do so. Maybe it's out of boredom.

Also, the way they've incorporated all the characters feels very forced. They don't need 13 people for this, but they make sure everybody gets something to do, even if it means having to come up with a completely random and pointless set of gags and/or stunts.

I hear in the next Ocean's movie, Danny's going to call up the guys to accomplish the biggest task of all... cleaning his pool. It may not sound exciting, but don't worry, they're going to make up for the lack of ingenuity by incorporating plenty of snappy back-and-forth dialogue and a non-stop series of complications that the gang somehow overcome ("Oh no, the filter's clogged! There's no way we can fix this thing! It's impossible! Unless... Do you think we need one more guy? *cue entrance of Clive Owen*").

Ugh. What a perfect continuation for the summer of disappointing threequels.

5 out of 10

---------------------------

Hostel: Part II
Damn, this movie sucked something fierce.

To summarize: it's basically a retread of the first film, except done worse.

The opening segment (involving Jay Hernandez from the first film) was incredibly disappointing, and completely destroyed the one thing I loved about the original (that the victim got payback). All of the characters (except for the actual leading female) are awful and annoying. The gore felt almost ludicrously over-the-top, bringing to mind the hilarity of Roth's "Thanksgiving" trailer from GRINDHOUSE.

The only thing I liked was the brief look into the actual business being run. The two "customers" being focused on probably could've been more interesting (like that creepy dude who was interested in surgery from the first film), but I liked how things played out in the end. Well, kind of. The movie seemed to end rather abruptly, and it's during that cut-off that things were finally getting good.

I originally gave the first movie a 7/10 in theaters, but on DVD I found it lost a lot of its impact (thus dropping to a 6/10). This sequel, on the other hand, is inferior in almost every way to its predecessor (and I haven't even watched it on DVD yet).

4 out of 10

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Knocked Up
This movie is one of the funniest and most relateable movies I've ever seen. It's complete perfection in every way.

The script feels like it was tailor-made for me. Some of the conversations here were almost exact replicas of those that I've had with my friends (such as the discussion about Munich). Granted, their conversations are a helluva lot funnier than mine.

As far as acting goes, Seth Rogen is hilarious as the amiable slob, and Katherine Heigl is surprisingly wonderful as the out-of-his-league hottie who gets (as the title implies) knocked up. She's definitely more than just a hot piece of ass (although she's obviously that, too). Rogen's group of friends are also very funny (albeit gross and obnoxious), as is the oh-so-charismatic Paul Rudd as Heigl's sister's husband. These are easily the most entertaining cast of characters to come together in a film for a very long time.

I also appreciated how the movie avoided overly slapstick gags, and just stuck to having extremely clever (and believable) dialogue. It gave the story a free-flowing and natural feel, something that made buying into the proceedings all the easier.

Simply put, I think this film could become one of my all-time favorites (and it's already a guaranteed front-runner for my top 10 of 2007). Another comedy classic from director Judd Apatow. It's funny as hell, but it also has heart. More movies should strive to be like Knocked Up.

9 out of 10

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Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Brilliant visuals/cinematography, excellent music, and sensationally epic filmmaking... compiled with an overly convoluted plot that continually drags, while only sporadically enticing.

They should've just made one sequel and cut out half of the unnecessary bullshit subplots.

And that's that on that; I have nothing left to say.

6 out of 10

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Shrek the Third
Occasionally funny, but surprisingly bland sequel. It was made simply to milk the franchise, not because it had a worthwhile story to tell. The CGI looks the best it ever has (is that even a shock?), but the rest of the production feels tired and lazy. The once hilarious characters have now become annoying. I will say though, Antonio Banderas manages to come out unscathed by keeping intact the amusing fervor of Puss-in-Boots.

Honestly, Shrek could've killed everybody in Far Far Away, followed by committing a horribly graphic suicide, and I still wouldn't have cared. In fact, that might've been a better ending. At least then we could be rest assured that this franchise would be officially dead.

Easily the worst of the three.

5 out of 10

You can find my thoughts on other movies through my Flixster account, here:
quigles.flixster.com

Labels: Reviews

Posted by quigles at 2:07 PM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Surf's Up
I have to admit, when I first heard the premise of SURF'S UP (surfing penguins? really?), the stupidity of it almost gave me a migraine. But I guess if Hollywood can get away with tap dancing penguins (*cough* HAPPY FEET *cough*), they can get away with anything.

Unlike HAPPY FEET though, at least the filmmakers behind SURF'S UP seem to be perfectly aware of how ridiculous their storyline is. During the opening sequence, there's a montage of historical artwork and archival footage that demonstrates the evolution of "penguin surfing" throughout time. It's a scene that will probably leave children blank-faced, but will have adults in stitches.

The movie continues forward with the documentary angle, seemingly poking brief fun at MARCH OF THE PENGUINS, and then ultimately moving forward into more MTV territory, riffing on rock music-filled surfing documentaries. To say the film's a mockumentary would be accurate, but a better description would be calling it a feature length version of the faux bloopers as seen in many of the Pixar films. In terms of laughs, it meets up to that standard as well. When the actual storyline kicks in, however, that's when the problems start.

The documentary gimmick makes the first half of the movie fun and interesting, but it's not exactly compelling enough in the way a family film should be. Because of this, the movie eventually downplays the documentary angle to make way for the story. Unfortunately, the plot is exactly as generic and bland as every other underdog tale that Hollywood keeps crapping out. You've got your stock love interest (voiced by Zooey Deschanel), your stock villain (voiced by Diedrich Bader, who admittedly gets a couple of hilarious moments), your stock dopey sidekick (voiced by Jon Heder), and your stock mentor (voiced by Jeff Bridged) who needs to teach our stock protagonist (voiced by Shia LaBeouf) a thing or two about stock Hollywood messages. (Yeah, stock. Rhymes with cock. Remember that; it's what this movie's story sucks.)

Regardless of this, kids should still have a blast with the many goofy characters being tossed onto the screen (there's a tiny twittering bird voiced by Mario Cantone, an in-your-face show announcer voiced by James Woods, a bunch of funny children penguins, etc.). The only disappointment in the character department concerns Chicken Joe. In a movie where every character is comical, you'd think the actual designated comic relief would be a lot funnier. Instead, he feels more like filler – just an instigator of a bunch of random silly gags used to stretch out the running time (none of which are particularly funny, or even unfunny for that matter).

Meanwhile, the standout character is the one that should've been the least interesting – Shia's large laidback mentor. But thanks to perfect voice acting by Jeff Bridges (in Dude-mode), he ends up being the only one with any real heart. And truth be told, that's something noticeable lacking in the rest of the film.

The filmmakers were apparently too busy creating a lush tropical paradise and beautiful CGI waves to bother with giving their film a soul. Who needs a soul though, when you have animation that looks this good? You probably can't tell from the trailer, but the CGI here is outstanding. Certain aspects are much more cartoony than, say, the photo realistic approach to HAPPY FEET, but it still looks amazing in its own right. Then again, having amazing visuals in a computer generated film seems almost like a given by this point. It's actually more rare to have a CGI film that looks bad.

At least the film's got the humor down pat as well, with everything being consistently funny and oftentimes hilarious. When the movie isn't busy giving adults something clever/cute/fun to enjoy, it makes sure to keep the kids laughing with your standard array of fart and feces humor (at one point even involving an entire pool of glow-worm poo). Those gags had me rolling my eyes, but I was grateful that the filmmakers didn't rely on mindless pop culture references. I think we've seen enough of that from the SHREK films.

The overall experience of SURF'S UP may not be one of complete satisfaction (due to the unbearably clichéd story), but thanks to its numerous hilarious moments and fun documentary gimmick, it still manages to beat out a lot of the other non-Pixar CGI films. That's perfectly good enough for me.

6 out of 10

You can find my thoughts on other movies through my Flixster account, here:
quigles.flixster.com

Labels: Reviews

Posted by quigles at 3:00 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Just to preface, the movie at hand is is a remake of the 1972 movie THE HEARTBREAK KID of the same name. It's directed by the Farrelly brothers (of THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY and DUMB AND DUMBER fame), and stars Ben Stiller and Michelle Monaghan. Its current release date is set at October 5, 2007. Obviously, this is a *very* early review.

You can check out the newly released trailer at Yahoo! by clicking HERE.

The Heartbreak Kid

PLOT: After rushing into a marriage with the "woman of his dreams," Eddie Cantrow (Ben Stiller) quickly realizes the mistake he's made when his new wife turns out to be a complete psycho-bitch (and during their honeymoon in Mexico no less). Meanwhile, he finds himself falling for another woman (Michelle Monaghan) who's staying at the same resort, only further complicating his already perplexing situation.

REVIEW: If you asked me seven years ago what I thought of the Farrelly brothers, I would've told you I was a major fan. If you had asked me that same question moments before seeing this movie, I would've told you to leave me alone because I was busy preparing myself for sitting through another probable shitfest. Yes, it seemed likely that, after suffering through many a mediocre comedy from them (OSMOSIS JONES, SHALLOW HAL, FEVER PITCH), the once hilarious directing duo would probably never return to their riotous roots. But lo and behold, a movie that brings hope. Not greatness, mind you. Just hope... Wonderful, gratuitous, sex-filled, R-rated hope.

There are two ingredients that make this film work as well as it does, and neither of them involves Ben Stiller (who, while good, is still bordering that line between annoying and likable). No, the two things that make this work are its wonderful lead actresses, Malin Akerman and Michelle Monaghan. You might remember Akerman as the super-hot wife of Freakshow in the movie HAROLD & KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE. She was the one who showed her tits. (Yeah, now you remember.) Well good news, boys and, er, other boys – the lovely lady once again shows the goods, and at one point, even drops her panties to give you an eyeful of something more (although it's not quite as pleasant as it sounds).



But as good of news as that may be, the even better news (depending on your priorities) is that Akerman is as great an actress as she is hot. I haven't seen someone play crazy this well since Isla Fisher starred as that redheaded nutcase in WEDDING CRASHERS. Just about all the movie's laugh-out-loud moments come courtesy of her. And seeing as how it's her hilarious antics that are going to help this film sell, I can guarantee the theatrical trailer will consist almost entirely of Ben Stiller's new wife annoying the crap out of him. Prepare to see many a clip of Mrs. Psycho incessantly singing off-key to the car radio. (Thankfully, due to its content, the movie's most hilarious sequence is one they'll never show in the trailer. I'll give you a hint... It involves Stiller's new wife being shockingly experienced in the sack. Upon the film's release, expect the line "Cock me!" to be embedded in the minds of teen boys everywhere.)

As I mentioned earlier, the next great piece of the puzzle is Michelle Monaghan (the babe from KISS KISS BANG BANG and M:I:III). In another actress's hands, Stiller's scenes with this character probably would have come off as awkward and forced. But with Monaghan as the movie's leading female presence (that isn't a psychopath, that is), the movie ends up working surprisingly well as a romantic comedy. Not too romantic, of course, but enough to show a sweeter and more pleasant side to all the crazy antics with Stiller's loony of a wife. The only thing that puts a damper on these scenes is Monoghan's character's family. They were just not funny, and worse yet, they were annoying. I especially disliked the Christian redneck cousin, whose entire purpose is served simply by acting like an asshole towards Stiller's character (at one point even taking a baseball bat to him). I also could've done without those obnoxious twin boys (who show up repeatedly, and for no reason). I honestly don't understand how anybody could think these people would make interesting or funny characters. Hopefully their scenes get shortened down for the final cut.

Saving the best character for last, there's Carlos Mencia in a minor role as a hotel employee (with a penchant for saying, "Screw off, I'm joking!" after every dumb comment he makes). And before you get the wrong idea here, allow me to stress just how sarcastic I was being with that "saving the best for last" bit... This guy SUCKS. I'm not one of those people to write off Mencia as a thief/idiot without giving him a chance. I watched at least three to four episodes of MIND OF MENCIA before not being able to stand it anymore. Here, he plays nothing more than one of the stock characters you might see in a skit off his show. That's not too surprising, however, as he only knows how to act out three character-types – those being, annoying Mexican, annoying fat person, and annoying retard. Guess which one his character "Uncle Tito" is...? That's right. All three.



The other hindrances to the film involve some major problems with pacing, as well as a disappointingly unfunny final half hour. With some extensive cuts in editing, the pacing can still probably be saved. The movie ran at about two hours long, with the beginning taking a little too long to get going, and then the end just being altogether lousy. Seeing as how this was a test screening, I think we can be rest assured that some scenes will be cut, but I highly doubt they'll be able to save the movie's third act. The whole thing is just utterly ridiculous and laugh-free, with Ben Stiller making attempt after attempt to sneak back from Mexico (where his honeymoon was taking place) into the US. It doesn't help matters that both Akerman and Monaghan are absent from this point in the movie. The entire section feels like nothing more than build-up to the one final joke at the film's end, which was a scene that literally made most of the audience groan (and caused one person to shout, "That ending sucks!"). Hopefully that closing gag makes it on the DVD as an alternate ending, and they instead opt to conclude the film with something of a little more substance (or, at least humor that induces laughs, and not eyes rolling in the back of heads).

Even though the movie has its fair share of problems, it does have enough laughs to make it worth your while. It doesn't even come close to being on par with THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY, but it's certainly better than some of the other stuff that Stiller and the Farrelly's have been doing recently. If nothing else, it makes for a solid matinee showing with your friends. And if you have a lady friend who doesn't mind a bit of gross-out humor and sex jokes, it actually makes for a rather decent date movie as well. Just don't blame me if she ends up dumping you after the credits roll.

6 out of 10

You can find my thoughts on other movies through my Flixster account, here:
quigles.flixster.com

Labels: Reviews

Posted by quigles at 12:39 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

A new batch of DVD reviews to check out, including ALPHA DOG, THE HITCHER, BIG (EXTENDED CUT), and a bunch more...

You can find the rest of my JoBlo.com reviews at:
joblo.com/reviews_archive.php?mode=joblo_dvds&author=49




And once again, don't forget to check out the rest of my DVD reviews at:
joblo.com/reviews_archive.php?mode=joblo_dvds&author=49

Labels: Reviews

Posted by quigles at 9:45 PM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Enjoy my two week early review of...

Spider-Man 3
While it does at times tiptoe on the line of being an epic and brilliant work of cinema, SPIDER-MAN 3 is also a big case of overkill. There's way too much going on, and it just seems to keep on coming.

After a somewhat shaky series of opening scenes (with that voiceover narration by Maguire still being as lame as always), the movie quickly finds its balance. It isn't until the symbiote subplot (involving the black Spidey suit) gets into full swing that things become a little too hectic. Director Sam Raimi pulls off an incredible feat by making the never-ending onslaught of subplots balance as well as they do, but the pieces still don't fit to the extent that you'd hope. There's enough plot here for two or three different movies, with plenty of obstacles for Peter to overcome and an ample amount of baddies for him to fight. But in putting the four main plotlines together (i.e., revenge against Sandman, Peter's relationship with Harry, the symbiote suit/Venom, and problems with MJ), the whole experience becomes overwhelming. There's not nearly enough time to absorb all the intertwining threads, no matter how hard the filmmakers obviously try to make it work.

That's not to say this is a bad movie. Far from it. In fact, despite its shortcomings, this picture still marks one of the most fun times I've had at the movies. It wasn't even until after I left the screening that I started to realize how many problems it had. I bet a large percentage of moviegoers will feel the same, being so taken aback by the constant action sequences and stream of storylines that they never even get a chance to notice the film's problems. That's the good news. Bad news is, there's no way these issues will go unnoticed upon repeat viewings. While SPIDER-MAN 2 seems to just keep getting better with each consecutive viewing, I see this one coming up short. It's still less problematic than the first film (which already feels a bit dated), but it just can't compete with the damn near flawless second.

One of the few complaints I had with SPIDEY 2 was the "raindrops are falling on my head" sequence. It was silly and awkward, not fitting well with the rest of the film's style... Well, this sequel tops it. After the symbiote takes over Parker, there's a lengthy montage sequence of him (now turned emo) strutting down the street, dancing around and pelvic thrusting at women. It's basically him hopping about to music while looking like a jackass. And it gets worse. He goes with Gwen Stacy (a hot but disappointingly extraneous character) to a club, where MJ is currently working, and basically reenacts the scene from ANCHORMAN where Will Ferrell starts randomly playing the trumpet and hopping across tables. There are slight differences, of course; this one involves a piano and groovy dance moves. But the outcome is the same, leaving audience member's mouths agape at the uncomfortable hilarity. They really should've saved that scene for the DVD outtakes. Then it'd at least be fitting.

Fortunately, the whole movie isn't plagued by scenes like these. It's only rarely that things start getting ridiculous or cheesy to the point where you can't help but roll your eyes. The other problem comes in the way of bits of awkward dialogue and rushed character development. There's about an 80% hit rate where everything in the script is as smooth as can be, but that last 20% block does hurt the a few vital aspects of the storytelling. Particularly when it comes to fleshing out character motives and emotional conflicts (something that was given almost complete focus in the first two movies).

At least the action sequences stand strong as some of the most spectacular since... well, SPIDER-MAN 2. They take full advantage of the characters' abilities and surroundings, and then fuse the two together to create a number of downright breathtaking moments. The CGI isn't quite flawless yet, but it's still a visual feast for the eyes. The only disappointment is the use of Venom. He does get some time to shine in the movie's third act (or possibly ninth, taking into account how many different stories overlap), but Topher Grace removes all of the character's menace. It really hurts me to write that, considering how wonderfully handled everything was concerning Brock's character before that point. But alas, despite Grace's strong and amiable efforts, his voice is just too awkward coming out of Venom's mouth. And all they needed was some slight voice alteration to fix the problem. Drats.

It's hard to cast this third (and possibly final) installment of the SPIDEY franchise in a more positive light, because frankly, there's nowhere to go but down. SPIDER-MAN 2 is a masterpiece! It created a perfect blend of action, story, and just good ol' comic book fun. SPIDER-MAN 3 does its best to follow through on this unreachable standard, and surprisingly enough, it comes very close to succeeding. Sure, the problems it has stand out like a sore thumb, but that doesn't stop the movie from sharing that same wonderful energy that was so very evident in the first two films.

It may not be a flawless endeavor, but it's certainly epic. Raimi and company reach for the stars, and instead end up making it halfway across the universe. It's one bumpy and crazy ride getting there, but when things go well, they go really damn well. And while some movie trilogies end on a note that make you yearn for one last installment to redeem the series (I'm looking at you, X3!), we should be so lucky to get a conclusive finish to the SPIDER-MAN series. Almost brings a tear to my eye.

8 out of 10

Spider-Man - 7 out of 10
Spider-Man 2 - 9 out of 10

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS REGARDING THE FILM, DROP ME A COMMENT AND I'LL BE SURE TO GET BACK TO YOU ASAP.

You can find my thoughts on other movies through my Flixster account, here:
quigles.flixster.com

Labels: Reviews

Posted by quigles at 11:16 PM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Disturbia
OK, lets get the standard stuff out of the way first. DISTURBIA's a blatant ripoff of REAR WINDOW. It's unoriginal, predictable, and formulaic. So on and so forth.

But hey, if you're going to rip something off, might as well do it well. And DISTURBIA does. Very well, in fact. It's formula at its best.

Acting as the film's main highlight, the underrated Shia LaBeouf once again proves how capable he is as a leading man. His character could've so easily crossed the line from likable to obnoxious, but Shia makes sure to avoid hitting that point. Props!

The supporting work is pretty solid, too. Aaron Yoo plays the obvious Asian comic relief, but he adds enough charm to the role to surpass the cliche (even if it's just a little). Sara Roemer is hot as hell as Shia's love interest. A few of their scenes together were a little too cheesy/sappy for my liking, but I'm sure many teen audiences appreciate them. At times it feels almost like the first act to a really high-budget porno. Or at the very least, it's a pretty standard teen male fantasy. It probably wouldn't have bugged me if I hadn't already seen it handled so well in THE GIRL NEXT DOOR.

Something in particular that really impressed me was the build-up to the third act. For a movie that steals so blatantly from Hitchcock, at least they were smart enough to also incorporate a style of filmmaking he pioneered. The film takes its time to get to the suspense. It builds and builds until the characters have been developed enough to make you care what happens to them, and then the thrilling 3rd act kicks into play. And man, what a rush it is. If any audience member starts getting ancy watching what seems almost like a goofy teen comedy for the first hour, the movie's intense climax should leave them satisfied. It certainly made me a happy camper.

On a final note, I just want to comment how distracting some of the product placements were. I did appreciate how they incorporated technology to various aspects of the plot (making it feel more "updated"), but there were a number of times where it just stood out too much. Particularly the opening scene, which feels like it could stand alone as a commercial for Coca-Cola. And the stuff with the Xbox 360, iTunes, PSP, YouTube, etc. - it felt like the movie was trying too hard to be hip. Sort of annoying.

7 out of 10

You can find my thoughts on other movies through my Flixster account, here:
quigles.flixster.com

Labels: Reviews

Posted by quigles at 11:12 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Perfect Stranger
This movie's about as generic and lame as the trailer made it look, if just a tad bit better. Maybe the fact that I had zero expectations helped me to "kinda" enjoy it. Or maybe it was my respect for Giovanni Ribisi. Or maybe it was my love for Halle Berry's gorgeous body. Well whatever the case, the movie's a dumb, by-the-numbers thriller that should keep easily satisfied fans happy. That's all there really is to it.

Every piece of dialogue feels very manufactured. It's almost cringe worthy at times. I laughed out loud at a couple of the scenes.

Giovanni is great though, so he's able to make his stuff work. Without him in the film, I would've disliked it much more. Bruce Willis hardly feels like he's in the movie. Whatever. Halle Berry is fine, and by that I mean she is both decent in her role and SMOKIN' HOT! Yowza!

*ahem*

Sorry about that.

This movie doesn't deserve much attention. It's fairly dull. The big twist ending is stupid. It feels like there are some plot holes too, but I'm too lazy to think back and actually figure out where (I'm sure others can do it for me). Halle Berry doesn't even go completely nude - just some side boob action (but on the other hand, that was some stellar side boob action!).

Meh. Unless you thought the trailer made the movie look amazing, you should definitely skip it. It's a little bit better than THE NUMBER 23, but not by much. Both of them feel surprisingly similar in that they're tedious R-rated thrillers that might've benefited by by cutting down to a PG-13 and opening up to teenage audiences. Not saying that would've actually made them better, but at least they'd have a better chance at the box office.

4 out of 10

You can find my thoughts on other movies through my Flixster account, here:
quigles.flixster.com

Labels: Reviews

Posted by quigles at 11:12 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

In the future I'll probably spend a lot more time working on my reviews for theatrical movies, but for now I'm just jotting down my quick thoughts on them. If you're looking for something with more of an in-depth analysis, check out my DVD reviews at JoBlo.com.

Below you can find my comments on some of the more recent films to hit cinemas...

Grindhouse
While PLANET TERROR delivers an awesome heaping of pure schlock, DEATH PROOF adds a whole new meaning the word. Both are kickass flicks, with their own separate pros and cons.

PLANET TERROR is a blast. It's messy, lively, and completely ridiculous. At times it feels like it's a parody of camp more than actual camp, but that didn't stop me from having fun.

I loved it in the same way I loved FEAST.

DEATH PROOF would've easily surpassed TERROR if it hadn't been for some of the dialogue. I've raved about Tarantino's writing in the past, but here it seemed to hinder the experience more than help. However, once the actual car chases come into play, it became a balls-to-the-walls ride. It was also interesting how Tarantino played with conventions by basically restarting the film halfway through with a new set of characters. And from that point on, there's a very different tone set. The final frame of the movie certainly confirms that notion. In this sense, the first half of the film is pure throwback, while the second completely defies expectations - nothing quite as fitting for a grindhouse film than that!

If it weren't for the incessant inane banter, I'd probably be giving DEATH PROOF a much higher score. Plus, it needed more of Kurt Russell being a badass. While I did like how Tarantino changed gears during the final third of the film, I really would've liked to enjoy Stuntman Mike's awesomeness for a few more scenes (as opposed to what he devolves into later on).

No matter how much you love or hate these films, there's no denying what a creative and unique experience has been created. It doesn't quite bring back the grindhouse experience (not that I'd know), but it's fun. And a LOT of it.

The faux trailers are awesome, too.

MACHETE - The whole priest-with-guns thing was hilarious. I can't wait to pick up the real thing when it hits DVD.

WEREWOLF WOMEN OF THE S.S. - The idea behind this is hilarious, but the trailer as a whole is nothing special. Nicolas Cage' appearance was a riot though.

DON'T - Funny as hell. It actually feels like a movie that could've been made a long time back. If it were real, I'd totally watch it.

THANKSGIVING - Awesomely hilarious. The killer f*cking the turkey/head was the perfect way to end the fake trailers and kick-start DEATH PROOF.

Final Ratings:
PLANET TERROR - 8 out of 10
DEATH PROOF - 7 out of 10

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Blades of Glory
This isn't the type of movie you need to analyze too deeply, so I'm not going to. That said, it's hilarious. It's not going to make your sides hurt or anything, but if you like Ferrell's brand of comedy, it will definitely keep you laughing.

Both Heder and Ferrell do a great job as the leads, and the supporting stars are also very funny (Poehler and Arnett). As for Jenna Fischer... she's so goddamn hot. Rawr.

The only person that actually surprised me was Heder. Not because he does an amazing job or anything, but because I was appalled by his performance in SCHOOL FOR SCOUNDRELS. But he does a very solid job here. He certainly helps to keep the laughs coming, almost even as much as Ferrell does. I honestly believe if they had cast somebody else, the movie wouldn't be as enjoyable as it turned out.

There's a TON of sexual humor, much of it homosexual-based (as the movie's plot implies), but it's handled well. They work in some gags. Also, the ice skating moves they do are a riot. There are numerous moments of obvious CGI and wirework, but it actually fits in with the ridiculously over-the-top style of the film.

Great cast, great gags, and lots o' laughs. If you watch the trailer and get the feeling the movie's something you might enjoy, then I can pretty much guarantee you will. If not, stay away.

7 out of 10

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Meet the Robinsons
A goofy, entertaining family film. There are a few clever moments of humor, some great looking CGI, and a solid message (that gets repeated endlessly).

I did get a little frustrated at how frantic and rushed everything became as soon as the Robinson family was introduced (especially with how they immediately acted like they were Lewis' family), but those are relatively minor quibbles.

As far as CGI films go, this one's above average.

6 out of 10

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TMNT
Fun, fun movie. The plot takes a bit too long to get going, but the action sequences keep things interesting.

The CGI looks terrific. I was little disappointed at the lack of monster battles, but the other fight scenes were choreographed/animated so well that I didn't really mind in the long run. The visuals and action sequences are easily the two main highlights of the film.

The writing is sub-par and generic, but it's a kid flick, so I can't really complain. The awful humor has always been present with TMNT, so that aspect of the bad writing was actually very welcome to me.

Mikey and Don are shortchanged in the film, with much of the story focusing on the rivalry between Raph and Leo. If there's a sequel, hopefully they get a bit more to do.

All in all, a great piece of nostalgia. Takes a bit from everything - the comics, cartoons, live-action films - so fans should be pleased. I know I was.

7 out of 10

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300
Well, I'd love to hop on the 10/10 bandwagon (alongside all my movie buff friends), but I think I'm leaning more toward an 8 out of 10.

I didn't get completely hooked until past the 20 minute mark, which is due in part to there not being much REAL plot to go along with the basic story. Maybe that's a good thing though, because the story isn't all that interesting. The acting helps to pick up the plot somewhat, but I never really felt myself "enthralled" by it. It's the visuals that make the movie epic, not the story. Which is weird, because the story really should feel epic as well. The climax was also a bit underwhelming (it's cool, but it certainly doesn't make the movie go out with a bang).

That said, as soon as the first action sequence graced the screen, I was blown away. Some of the most masterful choreography, cinematography, and direction I've seen in quite some time. Absolutely stunning. This movie really is style over substance, and in this particular case, that's a very good thing.

The majority of the film is actually a ton of fun, and I think I would've actually liked it to be longer (didn't feel even close to two hours - went by really fast). I think the reason for that was that it took me awhile to become immersed in the film, and by the time I did, the movie was already past the halfway mark. When it was over, I was left wanting more.

I wouldn't say the movie was a disappointment by any means, as I can't honestly think of how they might've improved anything... Mostly I think I built myself up for something that wouldn't logically be delivered. The trailers were amazing, but I didn't really stop to think about how the story would go along with all those awesome pieces of action.

EDIT: After having just seen the movie again, I found myself able to appreciate it a lot more. Pretty awesome flick.

8 out of 10

You can find my thoughts on other movies through my Flixster account, here:
quigles.flixster.com

Labels: Reviews

Posted by quigles at 11:10 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post