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Ten 2007 Movies That Should've Been Awesome, But Weren't


10. 30 DAYS OF NIGHT


What people were hoping for: A stylish and gory adaptation of the graphic novel of the same name, brought to life by the director of "Hard Candy".

What it turned out to be: Just another stupid vampire movie, with its incredibly cool premise used as nothing more than a gimmick.


9. REVOLVER


What people were hoping for: A return to form from Guy Ritchie, the director of "Snatch" and "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels".

What it turned out to be: Further proof that Ritchie should have never married Madonna.


8. FRED CLAUS


What people were hoping for: A hilarious and offbeat romp with Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti, tied together by "Wedding Crashers" director David Dobkin.

What it turned out to be: PG-rated kiddie crap.


7. SMOKIN' ACES


What people were hoping for: An onslaught of ridiculous action mixed with an onslaught of ridiculous characters.

What it turned out to be: An onslaught of ridiculous characters, but fuck all in the way of action.


6. WAR


What people were hoping for: A kickass showdown between Jason Statham and Jet Li.

What it turned out to be: Utterly forgettable trash, with barely two minutes worth of a "showdown" between Statham and Li.


5. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END


What people were hoping for: A spectacular and climactic resolution of everything left open in "Dead Man's Chest".

What it turned out to be: An excuse to introduce even more plot threads, none of which were interesting, and all of which took an accumulated 2 and half hours to resolve instead of a much more reasonable 90 minutes.


4. ALIENS VS. PREDATOR: REQUIEM


What people were hoping for: The excessively violent and gruesome R-rated battle between horror icons that should've been delivered by the previous installment.

What it turned out to be: Even worse than the first film.


3. FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER


What people were hoping for: A redemption to the series by way of the Silver Surfer's introduction.

What it turned out to be: Lots more of the same shit found in the first film, minus Alba's hotness (what the hell did they do to her?), and not even much Surfer.


2. SOUTHLAND TALES


What people were hoping for: The next breathtaking masterpiece from the director of "Donnie Darko".

What it turned out to be: A complete and utter mess of admittedly ambitious ideas, sans any cohesion.


1. SPIDER-MAN 3


What people were hoping for: Another incredible entry in the "Spider-Man" series.

What it turned out to be: An overstuffed collection of truly awful scenes, including Parker playing jazz piano, being devious while eating cookies, and crying a lot.



NOTE: These choices are based more on the reactions of audiences and critics than my own personal opinion.

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