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Ten Oscar Winning Actors That Need Their Statuettes Revoked


Ah yes, the Academy Awards. Such a prestigious honor, reserved only for the most dignified and distinguished faces in show business. Of course, they would hold a lot more merit if some of the winning actors didn't turn the show into a total mockery with their subsequent career choices. C'mon now people, the Oscars are the closest thing we have to reputable film awards. If we don't have that, then all we've got are the Golden Globes, or god forbid... the MTV Movie Awards. *shudder*

So with that said, here are the ten most notorious contenders for sullying the Academy Awards' name. (Well, more than it has been already.)


10. Robert De Niro


Got the Oscar for:
  • The Godfather: Part II
  • Raging Bull

Needs it taken away for:
  • The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle
  • Showtime
  • Analyze That
  • Hide and Seek
  • Godsend
  • Meet the Fockers
  • 15 Minutes

Before you jump down my throat, allow me to explain myself. There's a huge difference between Robert De Niro the "actor" and Robert De Niro the "comedian". I appreciate that he's one of the seminal actors of our time, but after "The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle", his career went straight to hell. A man that once had his resume filled with movies like "Goodfellas", "The Deer Hunter", "Heat", "Raging Bull", and "Taxi Driver", was suddenly mugging for the camera in awful comedies like "Showtime" and "Analyze That". Oh please, say it ain't so.

More disappointingly, once he started doing comedy, even his dramatic roles took a turn for the worst. He became... dull. Did anybody see "Hide & Seek"? The guy looked half-asleep for its entire duration. A pair of shoes could've out-acted him. That, and the film sucked.

Will we ever get back the Robert De Niro that was once so loved? I can only hope.


9. JEREMY IRONS


Got the Oscar for:
  • Reversal of Fortune

Needs it taken away for:
  • Dungeons & Dragons
  • Eragon

You'd think after the guy played one of the worst villains of all time in one of the worst movies of all time, "Dungeons & Dragons", he'd learn to steer clear of anything involving those fire-breathing (and career-destroying) beasts. Fuck, I'm pretty sure that's a default reaction for ALL actors, since the closest thing we've ever had to a decent dragon movie was the mediocre "Reign of Fire".

Mr. Irons, I can forgive you for the first fuck up, but after "Eragon"... you're on your own.


8. MICHAEL DOUGLAS


Got the Oscar for:
  • Wall Street

Needs it taken away for:
  • The In-Laws
  • It Runs in the Family
  • Don't Say a Word
  • The Sentinel
  • One Night at McCool's
  • You, Me and Dupree

It's easy to envy Michael Douglas for being able to tap THIS every day, but it's hard to envy where his career has gone. Since 2000's "Traffic", the guy hasn't made a single good movie. Six films. All of them shit. That's gotta be some kind of record, especially for somebody of his caliber. It seems that Mr. Bobby De Niro isn't the only actor to suffer from "Hey, I wan't to be a comedian now!" syndrome.


7. BEN KINGSLEY


Got the Oscar for:
  • Gandhi

Needs it taken away for:
  • BloodRayne
  • A Sound of Thunder
  • Thunderbirds
  • Species
  • What Planet Are You From?

It amazes me that Uwe Boll can officially state he's had an Academy Award winning actor star in one of his films. Even more amazing is that said actor happens to be the brilliantly talented Ben Kingsley. Somebody really needs to fire their agent. Either that, or Ben is just fond of playing ridiculously over-the-top baddies that look so goofy, they'd give the villainous Zorg from "The Fifth Element" a run for his money.

But don't take my word for it, see for yourself:


Yikes.


6. NICOLAS CAGE


Got the Oscar for:
  • Leaving Las Vegas

Needs it taken away for:
  • The Wicker Man
  • Ghost Rider
  • Next
  • Con Air
  • Gone in Sixty Seconds

Between 2002 and 2005, Nicolas Cage made four of the best films of their respective years: "Adaptation", "The Weather Man", "Matchstick Men", and "Lord of War". And in his infinite wisdom, he decided to follow up those choices with three of the worst: "The Wicker Man", "Ghost Rider", and "Next". Now whenever I go back to try and appreciate the excellence of those first four movies (as well as some of the others he's done), I find myself unable to watch him while keeping a straight face. All I can think about is his performance as Johnny Blaze, the worst Elvis impersonator on earth. And then of course, there's "The Wicker Man"...


You know, on second thought, let's not even go there.


5. JON VOIGHT


Got the Oscar for:
  • Coming Home

Needs it taken away for:
  • Bratz: The Movie
  • SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2
  • The Karate Dog
  • Transformers
  • Anaconda
  • Most Wanted

Whatever shred of dignity Jon Voight had left after "SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2", the recently released live-action "Bratz" movie has officially obliterated it.

Jon Voight has always had an on-and-off career, with the occasional solid movie helping to prove his worth as an actor. But, there's a pretty fine line between having a good acting resume and having a bad one; if "The Karate Dog" is on your resume, I can promise you're nowhere near it.


4. ROBIN WILLIAMS


Got the Oscar for:
  • Good Will Hunting

Needs it taken away for:
  • License to Wed
  • RV
  • Night at the Museum
  • Patch Adams
  • Flubber

Robin Williams has become so unfunny, he's regressed to the point where I've started questioning why I even found him funny to begin with. This was especially evident while watching "License to Wed", a prime candidate for the worst film of 2007. I also think it marked the first time I've ever felt such ruthlessly sadistic hatred for a man of the cloth. The only thing keeping me from simultaneously storming out of the theater while flipping my friends the bird for having me sit through that garbage, was the oh-so-desperate hope of seeing Williams getting a fist placed firmly in his face. When John Krasinski threw out that punch near the end, and Robin Williams went tumbling backwards, I burst into raucous applause. It may have been staged, but goddamn, just the thought of it being real was satisfying enough.


3. WHOOPI GOLDBERG


Got the Oscar for:
  • Ghost

Needs it taken away for:
  • Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit
  • Theodore Rex
  • How Stella Got Her Groove Back
  • Made in America
  • Eddie
  • Bogus
  • All of her TV shit...

If I even need to explain this one to you, then you've never seen "Hollywood Squares".


2. HALLE BERRY


Got the Oscar for:
  • Monster's Ball

Needs it taken away for:
  • Catwoman
  • Perfect Stranger
  • Gothika
  • Die Another Day
  • Swordfish
  • X-Men: The Last Stand

The immediate year following her Oscar win with "Monster's Ball", Halle Berry won the Razzie for Worst Actress with "Catwoman". She gets major cool points for actually showing up to accept the award (even going as far as to mock her Oscar speech from the year prior), but that doesn't come close to making up for the film itself. It also doesn't make up for the fact that she's just never been that good of an actress, delivering about 1 good performance for every 25 bad. So as long as she chugs out another 25 films as quickly as possibly over the next ten years, there's at least one other gem bound to pop up... right?

Feel free to hold your breath.


1. CUBA GOODING JR.


Got the Oscar for:
  • Jerry Maguire

Needs it taken away for:
  • Daddy Day Camp
  • Snow Dogs
  • Boat Trip
  • Norbit
  • Chill Factor
  • Rat Race
  • All of his straight-to-DVD crap...

Here he is. The man that inspired this list. It's sad really; he began his career so promisingly, only to have it repeatedly plummet into the depths of acting hell.

Not only is he now picking up the scraps of another was-once-great-but-is-now-shit actor's roles (that being, Eddie Murphy's character from "Daddy Day Care"), but he's doing it under the direction of Fred fucking Savage, the kid from "The Wonder Years".

Like Robert De Niro and Michael Douglas before him, comedies have made a joke out of Cuba Gooding Jr... And not the kind of joke where you're laughing with him.

However, unlike De Niro or Douglas, Cuba's chances of recovery are almost zero. You don't make something like "Daddy Day Camp" right before your next big break; you make it on your acting career deathbed, with heart failure imminent upon the film's release. And with this past Wednesday, you could hear Cuba's going into arrest from well over half the country away. Rest in peace, man, rest in peace.


Dishonorable Mention: Hilary Swank — The Reaping? The Core? The Black Dahlia? You have two Oscars, babe. Start acting like it.

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Regarding Ben Kingsley: You Kill Me was a descent role in a descent (if disappointing) movie, so maybe he's turning a corner/woke up/etc..

And as for Jeremy Irons, I thought it was generally understood that he's paying off the castle he bought in Ireland. Not that he should get a free pass, but at least he's got an excuse...

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